Single-stick, Sparring, Hammer-and-anvil, and Head-Bumping: A Fun Goodbye to White-Jacket

What to do on shipboard when you're off duty and tired of reading? The men of the Neversink had their choice among single-stick, sparring, hammer-and-anvil, and head-bumping:

All these were under the direct patronage of the Captain, otherwise -- seeing the consequences they sometimes led to -- they would undoubtedly have been strictly prohibited. It is a curious coincidence, that when a navy captain does not happen to be an admirer of the Fistiana, his crew seldom amuse themselves in that way.

Single-stick, as every one knows, is a delightful pastime, which consists in two men standing a few feet apart, and rapping each other over the head with long poles. There is a good deal of fun in it, so long as you are not hit; but a hit -- in the judgment of discreet persons -- spoils the sport completely. When this pastime is practiced by connoisseurs ashore, they wear heavy, wired helmets, to break the force of the blows. But the only helmets of our tars were those with which nature had furnished them. They played with great gun-rammers.

Sparring consists in playing single-stick with bone poles instead of wooden ones. Two men stand apart, and pommel each other with their fists (a hard bunch of knuckles permanently attached to the arms, and made globular, or extended into a palm, at the pleasure of the proprietor), till one of them, finding himself sufficiently thrashed, cries enough.

Hammer-and-anvil is thus practiced by amateurs: Patient No. 1 gets on all-hours, and stays so; while patient No. 2 is taken up by his arms and legs, and his base is swung against the base of patient No. 1, till patient No. 1, with the force of the final blow, is sent flying along the deck.

Head-bumping, as patronized by Captain Claret, consists in two [sailors] butting at each other like rams. This pastime was an especial favorite with the Captain. In the Dog-Watches, Rose-Water and May-Day [two of the sailors] were repeatedly summoned into the lee waist to tilt at each other, for the benefit of the Captain's health.

My head hurts. I don't want to go to sea anymore.